Now that first semester is over, I can reveal (at a great personal risk!) this conversation I recorded between two "anonymous" students. For the sake of privacy (and my health), we shall call these two students Harry and Ron. The lecture will be referred to as Potions, and the instructor as Professor Snape...
DISCLAIMER: This is seriously not a ficticious account. All the dialogue happened nearly word for word...
Prof. Snape: Your [assignments] were not good enough. The [dark arts] class is supposed to be helping you.
Harry: Leave it to [potions] class to blame another department . Oh it was the [dark arts] department. [potions] needs to do a better job.
Ron: (Tells about his scores in assignment [9/10])
Harry: Looser! [9/10]?!
Ron: What did ye get?
Harry: Almost got [10/10]. I got [10/10] minus 1.
Ron: What's with the [9/10] all the time? I don't get their questions.
(Introduction to lecture)...
Ron: (Gets a bright idea) Let's waste time by asking questions!
Harry: That's such a great idea!
Harry: (Pause) You first.
Ron: (Asks question to Prof. Snape)
Harry: (After some time wasted in answering the off-the-topic question) Well done!
Ron: (Nudges Harry for his turn)
Harry: (After his round of question) We're good at this!
(More questions asked. Soon, another student asks a question)
Ron: Someone else is doing our job!
(Some time elapses)...
Harry: Time to sleep! Check out the chick by the [air conditioner]... (Ron asks for specific position) On the right...
Ron: (Sighs) I wish I could do that! Sleep in class...
Harry: She's got the system down
(More time elapses)...
Ron: In order to effectively grasp a lecture, a student needs to, 1) be below average height, 2) have a scarf, 3) sit near the wall 4) [cover face with scarf], 5) sleep
(Still more time elapses)...
Ron: (Pointing out to Harry) She came back and went to sleep again.
Ron: Aha! The mask is down! She's flat!
Harry: I concur!
Ron: Another one! Just in front of the first one. In blue.
Harry: Its a sickness! Its contagious!
[...]
Ron: Number 3! Behind the pioneer! 4 and 5! 6! Right in front of you.
Harry: We got people going down all over! We're losing this war! (Pause) Ahh... You're losing me!
